Dating is not Painting

It has been a while since I last wrote mainly because I have been too busy sleeping or trying to figure out what my life is all about and why I fuck up on a daily basis, get mad at myself and fuck up yet again only to mess up yet again.  This “destructive” behavior has brought me to a point where I was about to give up.  Thankfully I have great friends and support from them to realize that when life is hard sometimes it’s okay to admit to being weak and ask for help.

That said, I wanted to share my experience with dating/seeing multiple people at the same time… Aside from the fact that it is daunting on my supper precious sleep time.  Keeping track of what is happening could get out of hand and quite annoying.  After the first week I came to the conclusion that # 3 would have to go right away.  He is a cool guy, but I realized that dating someone who is a patron at the gym would be bad if things were to heat up and then get broken off.  Glad I did that because I don’t feel bad now that I see him.  Good thing I kept my head and did not let it go anywhere.

Work & Drama

I’m really happy about the decision I made going into personal training.  It’s a tough job yet the rewards I see are great.  I’m constantly on my feet, though in the beginning was torture.  I would come home and crash because my body wasn’t used to this kind of abuse.  As an ex-accountant I was used to sitting for eight hours a day staring into a computer.  Now I have to walk around and boy my body wasn’t used to the change.  I kept telling my co-workers that I’ll come back to work out but the second I got home and ate I passed out.  That was pretty much my whole week.  I couldn’t even write, though I had great ideas – none of which I remember now because I didn’t have the strength to write them down.

The second week was better, I worked out a few times and I’m feeling more energized.  I have to say that I’m happier now, I’m constantly busy and I don’t have too much time for myself which is good because when I have too much spare time I start having negative thoughts that taunt me.  The only draw back of my career at the moment is that I am still not good at selling my services, but I am making acquaintances with the gym goers and helping them out when ever I can.  I know what I need to do to fix my uncertainty – I need to get fit myself and create a routine that I can teach to others.  Then I’ll be ready to attack and help the average folks get in shape.

Drama at work:

I’m working…Finally!

Well the good news is I’ll be working come Monday!  I’m very excited.  After a four month break, it was getting to a point were I was going insane.  I learned that I could only be without work for so long before I start going nuts.  Money aside, the fact that I have very little human interaction was causing me to lose my marbles.  Being a very social person, I’m all about meeting new people, learning new things and generally having a good time

Being home, I studied a lot, but it wasn’t the same.  The Internet is a vast cool place to learn many things, but it is not interactive and social as the real human being.

I have to admit that I am a little bit frustrated with the whole hiring process.  I mean I was told I’d start working Nov 3rd, I was then told that they can’t find my information.  Long story short, after a three-week waiting period I am on board!  WooHoo!

And some bad news…found out that my body mass ratio to fat is over the max bracket for my height.  ;-(

This means I will have to step it up a notch, actually step it up big time in the gym, so that I get into shape and drop the ratio to it’s appropriate number.

Dating Pretty People

I have recently started dating.  It has been a long while – close to four months – since I last dated.  I have been avoiding the dating seen like a plague.  It seemes that people are mainly interested in the “game” of dating.  Girls trying to squeeze the last penny out of guys, and guys trying to get these girls to pay up – in the bedroom.  I know I’m stereotyping but after dating guys from Europe/Russia, I found that New York guys are soooo not up to par, and so I gave up dating.

Several weeks ago I ran into a friend, who has changed dramatically and for the better.  I have to say his looks took my breath away.  I am exaggerating a bit, but he is one hot piece of meat, bluntly put.  I have dated good-looking guys before and it’s always a treat.  This one was a treat and a half.  Talk about Mr. Narcissi syndrome.  I have never met someone who was so into himself.  “Look at me and my abs, I don’t believe in being fat.  So do you know a joke (usually slap jokes with no wit)?”

I have heard people talk about pretty people being conceited, shallow, and dumb at times, but I never experienced it myself. Not to knock him, but when you are a pretty face and nothing upstairs… I say invest in your brains.  And if you are everything upstairs (really smart) invest time in your appearance.  Make yourself an all around sex bomb.

I have to admit I enjoy dating good-looking people, but if they can’t stimulate my brain, it is very hard for me to be motivated to see them again and again and again

Says Who????

Why is it that the majority of people listens and assumes that those who are on TV know what they are doing and talking about?

I mean just because someone is an actor/actress and make more money than they will ever need, why do we automatically assume that they have something worthwhile to say?

I mean lets take Mr. Cruise as an example…he’s a really good businessman yet we listen to everything that come out of his mouth as if he’s god…  Since when did we lose our own brains to other people?

I know so many brilliant people who are savvy, smart, makes lots of money and keep a very low profile.  The many things they accomplish are astonishing…  I also know people who are not so rich and influential, yet they help out in anyway they can, whenever people need help.

It’s interesting how back in the day there were people who adopted children from different third world countries.  Provided homes for them, cared for them, opened their hearts and families to them and nobody thought of it as extraordinary.  Yet since Ms. Jolie started branding adoption from other third world countries, it’s a trend and many follow it like it’s a fashion statement.

I know I sound very mad right now, I just find it very disturbing that when something is done on a social level it’s not talked about by majority of people.  But when a selected few begin to brag and wag their tales people start to pay attention.

(by the way: I really do admire much of the work Ms. Jolie & Mr. Pitt have done.  I do not have any respect for Mr. Cruise – he’s vile in my eyes)

History

Did you know that the only reason why history repeats itself is because we haven’t learned from it in the first place.  I don’t mean dates, I mean the grounding concept behind it

I may be repeating myself, but it needs to be said and understood.

Here is another thought:

Let’s take Oprah as an example, she has no children and no family to speak of and billions of dollars, several homes to her name and much, much more.  She is in many ways a very influential and admired person.  I think she’s a great role model in terms of success stories.  But sooner or later, she will die and all the billions in the world wouldn’t change that fact.

So why does she and many other billionaires, millionaires and other rich folks work day-in-and-day out?  It seems that they are in a much better and stronger position to change the way the world is shaped today yet they do very little.  At least it seems so to me.

It seems that the more money we have the greedier we become, and I am no exception, believe me, I’m not.  But I hope to be a little different, in a word – humble.  I hope you’ll aspire to be the same.

I think I’m a bit ranty but I just feel that money is money and we shouldn’t merit people by how much green they have, but we should value them by how much good they do.

Drunk Driving…Would You do it?

We all heard that drunk driving is not cool, so I will not go into the details of the good and the bad of it.  But I want to share two experiences with you.

Being a passenger of a drunk driver:

About two years ago a bunch of my friends when to the Brooklyn Brewery in Williamsburg for beers, laughs and a general good time.  Two hours later we decide to head to a different spot, Bembe, not too far from the Brewery.  Since it was wintertime and blistering cold with winds that were making it hard to breath, see and walk we decided to drive there.

My best friend has a high tolerance level for beer, so I have been a passenger in his car many times after having a few beers.  Unfortunately his car was jam-packed and so I was stuck as a passenger with a guy I just met.  At the Brewery he seemed cool and under control.  I got in the car and he started driving following my friend’s car in front.  Though I knew how to get to Bembe, I wasn’t too sure, so we tailgated.  We passed two intersections with no stop signs, and I noticed that both times the driver thought there were stop signs and slowed down.  I pointed out that we didn’t have to slow down and I began to wonder how intoxicated is he that he didn’t notice what he was doing.

Two things happened during the two times he slowed down when he didn’t have to: The car in front of us was further away from us and therefore passed the third intersection way before we did.  My driver was worried about losing the front car and drove faster.  On the third intersection assuming that there would be no stop sign he did not slow down as he did before.  When I noticed that he wasn’t slowing down, I calmly told him to do so since there was a stop sign.  Unfortunately his reaction time was slow in response to my request, but he did start telling me to relax and that he knew what he was doing as he accelerated so that he wouldn’t lose the car in front of us.

Being Nice with Water on Rocks

Why is it that when people – mainly guys – meet outgoing, nice people – mainly gals – who happen to be single by choice, they automatically assume that these girls want to have sex by the end of the night?

I mean what happened to plain good fun, and wanting to have a great time with people without the constant, “do you want to go to my place?”  It’s like SERIOUSLY?  Just because I know how to have a good time and enjoy being around people does not mean I want to go sleep with you.  It means I like to have a good time, and spending time with people, instead of the TV and love human interaction.  And then, when you turn them down they all get upset, “Why did you have to lead me on?”  It’s like “dude – it’s called being nice and having a good time.”  It seems that people forgot what it’s like to be nice without consequences – mainly the “let go to bed with me” – grrrrrr.

It’s like I have to LIE to these morons and tell them I have a boyfriend for them to get that I’m simply outgoing and love to have lots of laughs and make everyone around me have a pleasant time.  I mean shit.

Oh and another thing, these days I’m trying to drink less as I noticed that I have more fun that way.  Which seems to be another concept not well taken by the majority of people who go out, and again I have to LIE and say I’m driving just so that they buzz off.  Now I just tell the bar tender to give me water on rocks.  Water On Rocks!!!!!! with a lemon so that I “fit” in.

It’s so interesting how truth these days is not what people want to hear.

Fahrenheit 451

I read Fahrenheit 451 when I was in high school and the book left a very strong impression on me.  As an avid reader, to think that society one day would burn them was such a catastrophic thought to me.  I thought it was really disturbing that people would communicate with actors instead of their own friends and I hated the thought of having huge billboards and driving lightning speed.

It’s interesting to see that many of us these days have our ears filled with an earpiece blasting who knows what into our ears.  I too have an ipod, and I was really excited when I got it.  With 4gb so music on it, I find myself tired of having heard it all at least 10 times.  Most of the times it’s now at home laying by my laptop collecting dust.

I feel as though to some extent Ray Bradbury was on to something, like many people who are way ahead of their time.  I sometimes feel that with all the technology and all the ways we can communicate these days, there are so many more ways of miscommunicating.